The Beamail #17

tiiiiiiime to say goodbye (and a very warm hello!)

Well, well, well - the time has duly come, the dating stories are no more and I’ve no current plans to release music as Paige Bea, so you are indeed reading, the very final Beamail. While the archive of tragicomic heartbreak will live on (searchable forever tbh), it’s high time to birth a brand new icon: Adult Woman and her gossip-laden new publication Adult Woman’s Weekly are en route - and worry not, you’re already subscribed hunnies!!

My monthly odes to Gemma Collins will be retired, and I’ll be focussing a little less on matters of the heart and a little more on - you guessed it - the music, the gigs and the perils of continuing to pursue this absolutely mental career which, I anticipate, will broadly consist of watching everyone around me have actual children and buy houses while I’ll be birthing a new artist project and browsing ring lights on Amazon.

As ever, for one final time, in earnest and without further ADO, we begin.

THE DATING

Well, as noted above, I’ve not got much left in my arsenal with this one. I can’t say I miss Hinge and the veritable horrorscape of dull and boring men it so often provided, but no-one can say I didn’t make those anecdotes go the distance. As I flick through the Beamails of my comphet past, it’s hard to pick a favourite tale. Perhaps the rude butcher who was most definitely fully aware that I was indeed stalking him, or maybe it was the boatmaker, who ghosted me and subsequently sliced his thumb off. They don’t call it the Cutty Sark for nothing.

Then there were the heavier tales, the situationship that made me feel like a teeny tiny crumb long-forgotten on the toaster shelf, or the biggest heartbreak of them all, which showed me much less about the slightly odd man I’d decided to attach myself to for very few apparent reasons, and much more about the absolute army of brilliant, funny, empathetic women that surround me. Cowboy-boot clad angels who could drink enough Rosé for a whole hen do and still break me out of a Siberian corrective colony, blow-dry in tact. I don’t miss a lot about those times apart from the collagen, but if there’s anything I miss at all, it was the girlhood of it all. The giggles, the tears, the sobering walks and inebriated reality checks. The texts we really should not have sent, and the actions we really should not have encouraged. I am glad to see the back of my twenties but I really do miss the deep unseriousness of it all, an outlook on life that didn’t extend past plans for next Friday night. The best of times, the worst of times. A fond but wistful farewell.

THE MUSIC MAKING

Well, in keeping with my last email, sent a cooooool five months ago, in this section I’m here to give you all the juicy bits of my long-awaited (aka everyone is bored of me talking about this thing I’m not actually doing) artistic rebirth. While the previous Beamail denoted the origin story (Damon Albarn’s studio, and no, I won’t stop going on about it). This time, I’m closer to actually doing the thing?! I have a full EP pretty much cooked bar final vocals and a quick mix and master (FYI it is never quick). Plus, I’m now working with an amazing social media / creative strategy guru (@olivia_rafferty check her out!) and I even played a GIG.

The gig was truly amazing, and a real reminder of why I’ve decided to embark on this actually tapped journey of starting my music career all over again at 32 years of age. The Paige Bea gigs were so important, I learnt a huge amount about how to perform, how (not?) to manage a band, how to present recorded music in an exciting live way, how to use my big voice and most importantly, that if you’re wearing 7 inch heels for the live show you should probably wear them to soundcheck to avoid hunching over the mic like Quasimodo for the duration of your set.

But something about the first Adult Woman show felt different? Flanked by my dear friend, DJ legend and truly special human David, we managed to translate the kind of joy and sense of playful, infectious fun that I could never quite manage as Paige Bea to a whole crowd of unknowns on a BOAT of all places. We had CHOREO and honestly put on a 12/10 killer performance having only rehearsed the whole damn thing twice! If you, or your friends, or friends of friends know ANYONE who wants to put us on a stage this summer please PLEASE do. I’ll also be letting everyone on here know of our next shows (emails are being sent!) - so fingers crossed you too can remember the camp absurdity of our one life on earth and dance with us <3

THE SOUL SAVING

God I’ve been listening to a LOT of great stuff and in the bid to do something totally radical and make my life a tiny bit easier, from now on we’re going to simply list my top TEN tunes of the last month. You’ll have to decide yourself whether it’s a club heater or something best listened to in lying in the shower in fetal position for yourselves.

1. Funny Girl - thredd, Imogen & The Knife. If you haven’t got involved yet, thredd are a new band whose first album came out of a residency at Laylow. The music is 12/10 and the first thing I’ve got genuinely excited by in a long time. There’s also a reworks album for this song. J’adore.

2. Think About You - Tsatsamis. Pete (Tsatsamis) and I first met in Athens maybe 4 years ago now and have been musical confidants ever since. I know he’s put his full gay ass into this record as I’ve barely seen the man. His future is BLINDINGLY bright having just sold out Village Underground wearing a white military jacket and his just released EP Tsycophant proves it.

3. Slight Werk - Honey Dijon ft Bree Runway. This one is my fave but the whole new Honey Dijon album is *chef’s kiss* - to me, it’s the perfect combo of bass face and also car windows down soft bops.

4. My Confession - Seren Forever. Dido / Imogen Heap fans, get to KNOW.

5. Forever - Hekt, Smerz. I found this tune via one of my fave music writers (Shaad D’Souza - @shaadmagazine is one of the best things to ever grace my IG feed). Obvs anything Smerz touches becomes effortlessly cool, but there’s something very 2013 about this song that makes me want to pump my fists in a small sweaty club and hug all my friends.

6. You’re Mine - Sophie May. I’ve recommended Sophie’s music before, there’s something so soft but disarming about her writing. I haven’t told my partner yet but if we do have nuptials, this song will play at a pivotal moment.

7. linknb - Kelela. Ughhhh the alternative queen hath returned. I absolutely adored idea 1 and my only complaint about this yearning, driving piece of ethereality is the fact it’s only one minute 55 seconds - come on!!!

8. i’m not in love - su i think. This is such a perfect slice of indie pop! Melodies and production lock in SO tiiiiight, MUNA watch your back !!!

9. One Stop - Aldous Harding. Time after time my kiwi counterpart delivers truly one-of-a-kind songs that illustrate simultaneously how absurd and beautiful life can be. I’ll be front and centre when she plays the Barbican at the end of the month and you best believe I’m gonna ugly cry!

10. Pharoahs - SBTRKT. Ok, so final tune from hereon is going to be a throwback because while I do prefer to recommend new tunes, I rediscovered this song lately and became totally addicted, there’s something about the way the synth and bass jump around and the vocal sits right in the pocket of the rhythm that is heaven sent.

OBSESSION OF THE MONTH

Right, well I was going to talk about how seeing Rosalía in concert has genuinely reshaped the core of my being and twisted it into something new, but Laura Snapes (@thebasementsnapes) wrote it best. Instead, this month’s obsession anyone who follows @adult___woman (that’s three underscores!) on socials and is ready to like, share and support the absolute deluge of social media crap I am about to embark on !!!!

Lots of love xxx